Wednesday, February 12, 2014

finding myself

part of twenty thirteen was about finding myself. I didn't necessarily focus on this or really even know I was working towards finding parts of myself. it just sorta happened. but what I can say is that at the beginning of the year I still felt like something was missing. part of my workflow and editing process felt closer to what I ultimately wanted but just not quite right. I could never put my finger on it but subconsciously I had started to pay more attention to the kind of art and photography work that drew me in the most. I started noticing a pattern to all the photographers that I watched the most or the styles of blog posts I read (or let's be real, skimmed the pictures because I don't have time to always read everything in my life). part way through the year I finally realized it had to do with film. I really love film. there is something more real about it, more depth, maybe it's part of the style and compositions, the feeling, that people who shoot film portray in their art work. I still can't fully describe it, but I feel like I had an "a-ha" light bulb moment a bit. this realization helped me change up a few things with my style and although I'm still not one hundred percent satisfied, it was a giant leap towards feeling better about it. i honestly don't know if one will ever get to a point of feeling fully satisfied with their work because there is always room for improvement and i have miles to go yet.

i bought myself my first film camera for my birthday. don't get too excited - it's nothing fancy. A Nikon F100. it was cheap, but all I really wanted was a place to start. it was more of an escape and something just for me to enjoy for myself since life has been so crazy the past few years. the business is growing, I'm loving it, but I just needed a little something just to savor for me and this was it.

naturally, it took me 6 months to find time to actually send the rolls in for developing. in reality, that is probably a win for me at only six months. the week wait was almost excruciating. I am not a patient person. I even dreamt about the images a few nights. it had been so long I couldn't even remember what pictures I had taken. flipping through them I made a lot of initial observations and a number of things I already want to try again to improve on.

so here's to twenty fourteen and finding a little more of myself.

don't judge me too harshly...beginner on film over here..ha, ha.

// fuji 400h

// kodak portra 800
// kodak tri-x 400

// fuji superia 200